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Over the past year, I have been helped settle one estate and have served as co-executor on another one. The process has caused me to rethink my usual approach to National Estate Planning Awareness Week (October 16 – 22), which has previously been one-part encouraging coach and one-part nudging aunt.

It’s time to put my cards on the table and to be blunt: The process of estate settlement is time-consuming and exhausting in the best of circumstances.

The point of properly planning an estate is to head off difficult decisions at the end of your life and to help transfer your assets to your intended heirs without too many snags. The three basic documents that help you accomplish this herculean task are:

Will

A document that ensures that assets are passed to designated beneficiaries, in accordance with your wishes. In the drafting process, you name an executor, the person or institution that oversees the distribution of your assets. If you have minor children, you will also name a guardian.

Health care proxy

Appointment of someone to make health care decisions on your behalf if you lose the ability to do so.

Power of attorney

Appointment of someone to act as your agent in a variety of circumstances, like withdrawing money from a bank, responding to a tax inquiry, or making a trade.

With the basics covered, here some lessons that I have learned first-hand about estate planning:

Avoid drafting documents after receiving a diagnosis

It is hard enough to process devastating medical information in real time, but asking patients and their families to make a series of difficult financial decisions on top of the health issues puts them under immense emotional stress. Of course, if you have done nothing up to the day you get the bad news, there is little choice but to plough ahead.

Consider a letter of instruction

This document can cover certain things that are outside the will, like the disposition of your remains and your desired funeral arrangements, which can be important if you are choosing something that is contrary to your family’s tradition.

Utilize Transfer on Death (TOD) accounts

Many more financial institutions offer the ability to designate a beneficiary of non-retirement bank and investment accounts, which allows ownership of the account to be transferred to the designated beneficiary upon your death and generally avoids probate.

Weigh the value of a trust

A trust comes in two forms, revocable (changeable) or irrevocable (not changeable). While trusts can be useful, depending on family and tax situations, they can also overly complicate the planning process and add to the cost of the estate plan.

Mind the real estate

If you are leaving real estate to a non-spouse, there are a number of costs that need to be factored in: the on-going payment of a mortgage, taxes, utilities, maintenance, to name a few. You may want to leave extra money to the heirs of the real estate so that they do not have to pay for these costs out of pocket, while the asset is being prepared for sale.

Communicate the plan

As hard as it may be to talk to your loved ones about this emotional topic, have these conversations while you still are able to do so. Remember that this process is a gift to your heirs — something that will help them manage the disposition of your estate without extra hassle. It is also a gift to yourself because completing the process (and updating the documents when there are life events or reviewing them every 3-5 years) will provide you with peace of mind.

Jill Schlesinger, CFP, is a CBS News business analyst. A former options trader and CIO of an investment advisory firm, she welcomes comments and questions at askjill@jillonmoney.com. Check her website at www.jillonmoney.com.